Revisiting memories can have some unforeseen consequences. I mentioned in my post yesterday that we tend to be protective of the narrative of our lives, it forms the foundation of our sense of self. We are not often called upon to challenge it. At times of trauma, especially if the event somehow echoes similar events from earlier in our lives, then we may need to re-examine our narratives. I noted yesterday the role that counselling and psychotherapy play in this regard. Similarly, a piece of information may come to light that is contrary to what you always believed about yourself or those closest to you.
Reminiscing is like throwing a stone into the pond of consciousness. You expect there to be ripples, but you can’t know what will happen under the surface. In his book Nausea, Jean-Paul Sartre wrote about the risks of revisiting special memories, in case they might somehow become corrupted by the process:
“I evoke these with caution, occasionally, not too often, for fear of wearing them out……I don’t want to tire my memories. In vain; the next time I evoke them a good part will be congealed”.
This is consistent with what we know about the mercurial nature of memories. Similarly, there are pieces of music I will only play infrequently for fear of changing the special memories and emotions they evoke. Emotions provide the soundtrack for our memories – the power of associative learning.
And my emotions today have been a little strange and unsettled. Very unexpectedly, writing yesterday about Beverley from Winnipeg certainly created some ripples. I find myself pining for her, even though I cannot bring her face to mind. This is 52 years ago. I imagine that Beverley has become totemic for those distant and unvisitable years. Not even the Magic Bus could make that journey.
Fittingly, I will give the last word to Jean-Paul Sartre…
“I think this is what happens: you suddenly feel that time is passing, that each instant leads to another, this one to another one, and so on; that each instant is annihilated…If I remember correctly, they call that the irreversibility of time”.
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Psychologist on the Move 