Today is the day after my 20th birthday. The notes relating to this post were recorded tomorrow, so to speak – 7th July 1973. They cover 14 pages of my travelogue. I thought long and hard about how I would capture the essence of the day, or indeed whether to cover it at all in this post. In many ways this day was a pivotal moment in my development, shaping how I viewed myself and the world at large.
The key element is a topic that I have often written and spoken about in a range of forums – in lectures to undergraduate and postgraduate psychology students, in various blogs and posts about developing mental well-being, and in relation to my photography. I am referring to perception.
There is a famous quote by William Blake –
If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru’ narrow chinks of his cavern.
Aldous Huxley derived the title of his book about his exploration of the hallucinogen mescaline from this, and subsequently the great band The Doors derived their name from the book. And so the universe flows…
My first experience with LSD on this day 52 years ago certainly gave those doors a good wipe down. I spent a lot of my time in Matala playing cards, so it was not surprising that images of playing cards featured strongly in my perceptual experiences…
…and returning my gaze to the sea, I see…playing cards…the whole sea made of playing cards…sometimes neat, heaving rows of reds, blacks, reds…other times, just a cosmic pack, swirling…being washed up all along the shore, then swirled away in a mass of black and red…the next wave bringing in a new deal.
I saw giant cards tumbling across the horizon and hanging from the tree in our camp. I experienced synesthesia where there is a merging of sensory experiences – for example, sounds producing colours and patterns. I listened to “Money” from Dark Side of the Moon…
…stars dropping from the sky like small change
During “Us and Them” (also from Dark Side of the Moon), I saw a huge gorilla facing forward…
..its head turning slowly to the side, then the whole body drifting off in that direction..
The ingestion of LSD led to the enhancement and intensification of sensory experiences, vibrant sounds and colours, perceptual distortions as stationary things moved and flowed and merged, the emergence of shapes and beings that were clearly not there in reality. The perception of time was altered, as if I was somehow detached from the physical laws of the universe. There was a wonderful sense of well-being, of euphoria. I am hesitant to comment on the spiritual and metaphysical dimensions, but there was a definite sense of feeling and understanding the universe. Some of the images had a profound effect on me. At one point, the Greek goddess of victory (Nike) knelt beside me as if to console me.
My experiences seem to match those of Albert Hofmann who first synthesised lysergic acid diethylmide in 1938. He put it aside before revisiting it in 1943, when he accidentally ingested a small amount. He felt intoxicated and experienced strong visual imagery when he closed his eyes. Three days later, he intentionally took a controlled dose. The sensations were scary and unpleasant at first – people appeared to morph into fantastic creatures and the office furniture appeared to move around. He asked a colleague to help escort him home on his bicycle. This was April 19th, that was later to become known as Bicycle Day – the first intentional LSD trip. [Thank you Wikipedia].
I try to provide a bit of educational value to my posts. There is a lot more to the story of LSD: How it was used in experiments by the CIA; how it was promoted by Dr Timothy Leary ( “Turn on, tune in, drop out”) and adopted by the 1960s psychedelic movement; its use as a model to gain insights into psychotic disorders such as schizophrenia; the historical and more recent research into its effectiveness as an adjunct to psychotherapy; its use to guide meditation, self-insight and understanding; its overuse by the late, great Syd Barrett of Pink Floyd; and in the mid-1970s, the big UK police drug bust known as Operation Julie.
Hofmann took small doses of LSD throughout his life and always hoped its value for humankind would one day be realised. He referred to it as both his “problem child” and “medicine for the soul”. He lived to be 102.
Before appropriately giving the last word to Albert Hofmann, I just want to be clear that I am not encouraging, endorsing or proselytizing the use of LSD. It is something I chose to try and I was fortunate enough not to suffer any ill effects. Hofmann himself noted that the danger of the drug lies not in its toxicity but in the unpredictability of its psychic effects.
The external world became changed as in a dream. Objects appeared to gain in relief; they assumed unusual dimensions; and colors became more glowing. Even self-perception and the sense of time were changed.
And finally, an observation that certainly resonates with me:
It gave me an inner joy, an open mindedness, a gratefulness, open eyes and an internal sensitivity to the miracles of creation.
In this last quote, the renowned chemist is at one with William Blake –
To see a World in a grain of sand,
And a Heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
And eternity in an hour.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. Please feel free to share any thoughts or comments you may have.
Psychologist on the Move 